Tuesday, April 07, 2009

I really really really really hope for world peace right now.... but that will put police officers, military men, psychiatrists ETC out of job... and make the world a damn boring place.

Sometimes, I don't wish to go through the horrible feelings: jealousy (of whatever), anger (at latecomers, stupid people), boredom (of doing mundane work), frustration (towards people who do not prioritize), sadness (of missing someone, or of seeing people going through sad things in life)...

But when i think of it in another warped manner, these are the things that make up life.

If life is only: peace (LOL), happiness (that's damn tiring), excitement (exhausted).. blahblah.. HMM... That's kinda screwed..

And the fact is,life can NEVER be like this.. WHY?

Because of the word "satisfaction"

People never get satisfied with what they have. If they are alwaysfeeling happy, they will think that is totally NORMAL, and find something to make themselves happier.

The endless search to satisfy an ENDLESS desire for ???

Nobody knows what we are ultimately looking for.

Take ME for example:
I have a loving family, a beautiful house, a carefree life.

But i'm perpetually frustrated and angry. Over what?
1) My biscuits were mysteriously eaten up --> FRUSTRATED
2) I was pushed into the MRT by a hoard of people --> PISSED
3) I had to be constantly given the questioning look whenever i come out of the room --> FLUSTERED
4) I want to get into medical school --> F***** UP WORRIED
5) I miss him --> SORROW
6) I HAVE AN ESSAY TEST TMR --> LOST
7) I have to wake up early tomorrow --> LACK OF SLEEP = FRUSTRATED
8)9)10)... BLAH BLAH BLAH

Minute? Mundane?

The fact is, these mundane little minute things make a hell lot of impact on a person like me.. the same impact it has on the people in Africa who worry over the lack of food/shelter/water/weapons to hunt..

I don't think there are problems in the world that are MINUTE..
Because we all have different scales.. that this scale is unique to measure our OWN lives.

I will continue to worry over the stupid essay test tmr... worry over getting into med school.. worry over people's scowling look..

The same way an ant worries about the anthill collapsing..

Sigh.. i have NO idea what i'm trying to drive across in this entire rant of stuff.. it didn't make much of a sense to me.. but i just suddenly had a passionate urge to declare my stand in this issue that nobody is debating about..

Maybe all i'm trying to do is convince myself that.. well... erm...

Heck.

Goodluck to all for essay tomorrow.